The Funny Thing About Diaper Disposal

Since I fully intent to post stories of my loved ones making fools of themselves I figure I should start with a story of me making a fool of myself.  It’s only fair right?

The summer between my sophomore and junior years of college I was working as a nanny for three boys; Nick(5), Kip(3), and Vince(1). This was a job I enjoyed more than almost any I’ve had to this day, and I was really hoping to continue it into the school year, given that only one of the boys would be in school, and both parents would have to go back to work.  This did not happen.

Most of my time was spent with Nick and Kip keeping them entertained while their mother took care of Vince, most days she took him with her to the laundromat to help keep ahead of the incredible amount of laundry generated by a family with three rowdy growing boys.  I should add here, that in the three months I worked with them, I only heard Vince cry once, and I was spending several hours in the house with him nearly every day.  He was a great baby.

Anyway Nick and Kip loved building with their Legos, playing shooting games, and riding their bikes so that was how I spent most of my time.  Occasionally though, maybe once or twice a week, the older boys would go to karate or soccer and I would watch Vince.  This was where the trouble began.

Because Vince never cried, and as a result I was never sure when he needed a new diaper, I got into the habit of changing him once every two hours or so.  He was really good about it and the whole process was totally unremarkable.  The diaper came off, and I threw it in the trash can they had next to the changing table.

I’m going to guess that this happened between 40 and 60 times during my time with the family.  I was really impressed with their cleanliness.  There was never another diaper in the trash when threw the one I had just removed away.  I figured that when they knew I was coming the mom would take the trash out to make sure I didn’t have to, that was nice of her. Right?

One day in August, I’d been working since May, I opened up the trashcan and saw that it was full, not of diapers but of clothes.  That made no sense so I began rummaging through the clothes, they didn’t seem to be damaged or out grown, so why were they in the trash?

They weren’t, as it turns out, I had been inadvertently throwing dirty diapers in a dirty clothes hamper for months.  In my, small, defense the hamper did look like a garbage can, albeit a nice one, and it did have a garbage liner in it.  But it was to easily transport the clothes that were supposed to go in there, not the diapers.

I was mortified. I apologized to the mother as soon as she got home that evening. She was very kind, and said not to worry about it.  She and her husband had blamed each other at first, then Nick and Kip, before realizing it must be me.  They had been unsure of how to tell me, they were incredibly non-confrontational, and had decided to leave the hamper full and hope I got the message.  We laughed about it and I thought that all was forgiven.

The next day she texted me and told me that they’d found another sitter for the school year and to thank me for all that I had done.  I was disappointed but not totally surprised.

I hope you enjoyed this, that you pay extra attention to where you throw your diapers (if you have any to dispose of), and that you leave here laughing.



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